I think we can all agree what customer service is supposed to be. Or, at least, what it used to be. But, let's ask the question, does it still mean what it did 20 years ago? Hardly. As a veteran with two decades in the field, I can tell you that the idea behind Customer Service has gotten lost. In this madcap 21st Century corporate world, where suits and skirts drink tall pitchers of water from the comfort of padded chairs around gleaming cherrywood tables, making decisions about jobs they've never held, the goal has become the silent exclamation of excel spreadsheets everywhere: The Bottom Line is Top Priority.
It reminds me of the movie Big, with Tom Hanks. As a 12 year old kid named Josh, trapped in an adult's body, he listens to grownups who think they know exactly what a kid wants in a toy. He's honestly puzzled. "What's a marketing report?" Their water pitcher reasoning makes no sense to him, so he raises his hand and tentatively says, "I don't get it."
I'm with Josh. I don't get it either.
Customer Service used to be handled at the local level, even in big companies. Managers came up from the ranks, having done a variety of jobs in the company, including yours. Armed with front line experience, they knew how it was to answer those phones and write those letters. It was like having an ally and a manager all rolled into one -- a nice balance.
But now the tides have turned. Corporate America's gotten the notion that people in remote conference rooms know what's best for us. The ironic part is that I have friends with those fancy business degrees, and don't get me wrong, they're good people. But all they've got is theoretical training and A Nice Piece of Paper. They have no actual experience. How could they possibly know what my job entails? And even more important than that, most of these folks tell me they could not and would not want my job. They'd rather whip up agendas, conjure magnificent spreedsheets and peruse marketing reports in between sips from their water glass. Okay, great. Somebody's got to do it and better them than me. But now, these clueless people, who've never done my job, who'd never aspire to it, are in charge of telling me how best to do my job. How strange is that? Why does Corporate America think this is such a sensible idea? It's like me opening a car repair shop and telling my mechanics with 20 years' experience, how to rebuild an engine. I may be a great manager type, but I know shit about what's under the hood. How successful do you think my little auto shop will be? Think about it. Would you bring your car to me?
I used to love being in customer service. The satisfaction of having helped people all day long is a wonderful feeling. But, oh Lord, how things have changed. For one thing, most customer service jobs are now in noisy, headache inducing call centers. Secondly, I can't help you like I want. I can only give you the pat answers you don't want to hear. And, I have to do it in record time to get you off the phone; 'cause it's all "hurry hurry! other callers are waiting!" Everything's about numbers; our average call time (ACT), number of calls answered (NOC), callers in the queue (CIQ), how much we help you (QIC). Acronyms R Us.
I feel like a soccer player frantically trying to kick your call into the net so I can yell Score! and move on to the next victim. Er, caller.
Customer service used to be considered the lifeblood of your business, your most important asset. It made or broke your business, because it gave you loyal customers, happy customers, word of mouth advertising. Now it's just considered a financial drain. Did you also know CS reps are considered to be one of the top ten most stressful jobs in the country? Yep. We come in at #4, #7 or #8, depending on who's doing the listing.
On the flip side of the coin we have the customers. Now, most of you are fine, and there are even a few we'd happily reach through the phone and hug, but you know the old adage: one bad apple in every bunch. Dealing with the public has always been an art form, but it's really become a test of patience lately, because of the instant-gratification / you-do-the-thinking-for-me mentality that's so rampant in America today.
You will never truly appreciate how stupid modern humans are until you've worked in a call center for a week. Really. We get asked the weirdest questions. We get asked out on dates, propositioned, threatened, screamed at and often treated like we're the psychic hotline. If you know anybody who works in a call center, and you're looking for a night of comedy without the high admission prices, invite 'em over for a drink. Even better, invite two or three.
Problem is, the combination of all these factors burn people out in a big hurry. The average length of employment in CS call centers is 6-12 months. Is it any wonder you get crap service and a different answer each time you call? By the time they know how to do their job and answer your questions, they're on their way out the door.
Call centers are also not very inspiring work environments. Picture a really large room, maybe an entire floor of an office building, filled with grey cubicles as far as the eye can see, manned by workers hunched over keyboards, tense and stressing over the seconds ticking away while you talk, who don't have time to breathe, stretch or chat with each other for 15 seconds between calls (and if they try, believe me, they get into trouble), who put you on mute so they can hurry and slurp a drink or eat the rest of their cold lunch. The noise level in the center ranges anywhere from a low drone to a rock concert din, depending on what day and time it is. Mondays are nuts. Lunch hour is crazy, and 5 o'clock quittin' time is downright fruity.
When I first went to work for a call center back in '01, I didn't know what one was. All I knew is the job required me to be a directory assistance operator. Great. I can do that. Training was a little sketchy (for some reason, that's the norm in the industry). Everybody else in training had previous call center experience, I was the only outsider to the biz. Our trainer was tired of training by the time he got to our class. So, he had us read from the manual for 5 days. We also told jokes, and took lots of breaks. By the end, only one person out of the fifteen trainees actually showed up for work the first day. Yep, that would be me. But with such iffy training, I was clueless. And terrified. I had NO idea what I was doing.
With lots of hand holding from really really great supervisors, I finally got on the phone, hands shaking, heart in my throat and BS'd my way thru the day. By the end of two weeks, I was an old pro.
Next up: humor. Meaning, a close-up of my first day. And some actual calls.
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